Photogenic People Cast In New Movie Shock!

THIS is a news report. Kind of.

Not really though.


(Please read the following in the X-Factor narrator’s voice.)

From the author that brought you ‘Cancer Sucks’…


… ‘A Fatalistic Relationship About To Happen’…


… ‘How To Get Dumped Repeatedly’


… ‘Is There An Echo in Here?”

will grayson

… and ‘What The Hell Is This Even About?”

paper towns

… John Green brings you his second movie spawned from one of his early modern contemporary books, and this time he’s chosen to force-feed Paper Towns to the public.

Get ready for all the things you love in a John Green novel. Things like: pretentious quotes that don’t make sense…


… quotes that were obviously meant to be deep, but just sound stupid…


… and quotes from self-deprecating teenagers who really need to look into group therapy or something…


Starring all your favourite actors that you’ve never ever heard of. Ever. Including…

This Guy!

nat woolf

Bushy Eyebrows!


Annoying Accent!




Female Baby-Face!


Your Girlfriend’s Strict Father


And Jailbait!


(Seriously, I wasn’t joking when I said you wouldn’t have heard of them.)

Strap yourself in and get ready for the moderately thrilling ride that is going to be Paper Towns, the major motion picture based off the mind-boggling bestselling novel that will be hitting cinema screens everywhere in August 2015. If you like romance, vague mysteries, and teenagers with weird names that make them sound like they’re from the Victorian times, then Paper Towns is the YA adventure for YOU!

And now for the actual news bit.

(You can stop reading in the X-Factor voice now.)

Seriously, if you’re a John Green fan and you’ve read and enjoyed the New York Times #5 best-selling YA book, then this is going to be big news for you. HUGE, even. So even though I’m making fun of it mercilessly, I am actually super excited for all you Nerd Fighters out there, and I’m really happy that you get to see another one of your favourite author’s creations come to life.

Go ahead. Scream, cry, giggle, dance around in little circles — I won’t judge…! Promise!

Paper Towns is Green’s third YA novel, published on October 16th 2008, winner of the 2009 Edgar Award for best Young Adult Novel, and was announced by Green himself on March 24th 2014 that it was being adapted into a film.

Since then and now, few juicy details have been parted with about the upcoming movie. We know that the screenplay has been written by Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber, that Fox 2000 own the rights to the film,that Jake Schreier will be directing it, and that Green himself is the executive producer, but apart from that things have been very hush-hush.

However, a few months after the movie deal was announced, Green revealed that model and actress Cara Delevingne will play leading lady Margo Roth Spiegelman, and even more recently, on October 9th (just a few days ago) Green also revealed that Justice Smith, Austin Abrams and Halston Sage will also be starring in the movie. COOL!

Of course, all of Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook are abuzz, desperately waiting for Green to spill some more secrets, but seeing as the film isn’t coming out until next August, they’ve got a pretty long wait ahead of them.

Is that it? Am I done now?

Oh, thank God for that.

Alright I can stop being sensible now. News report is over. I should probably end this blog post on a joke. I need to think of something really clever, and witty, and funny to say. Something that people will remember me by. Something that really captures my intelligence and sophistication. Something that illustrates my skill and comedic writing talents.

Okay I’ve got it.



Nailed it.

Laura, out.


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